The "Honeymoon Period"

HONEYMOON: (hŭn'ē-mūn')
n.

1. A holiday or trip taken by a newly married couple.
2. An early harmonious period in a relationship: The honeymoon between the new President and the press was soon over.

I’ve been thinking about the so-called “Honeymoon Period” lately. Two particular experiences prompted my thoughts. 

The First Experience: Upon sparking friendly/tipsy conversation with very nice snowboarders at a restaurant in Collingwood, our friends told the nice snowboarders that Matt and I had just gotten married. I got that same “yay” feeling that I always feel when I think that we are married (and, yes, “yay” is the only fitting word I can think of to describe this feeling). They seemed to share the “yay” feeling and congratulated us.  However, when they found out we were married “way back” in July, they didn’t seem so excited. Hmmm. That was the first experience.

The Second Experience: This experience was shared with none other than my husband.  While at a Spitfire game, we ran into an old classmate of his. I remembered him meeting at the Wedding Show at the Ciociaro Club during the first year when we were engaged. When Matt was trying to remember where I had met him while “re-introducing” me, I piped up “Oh, were you recently married?” knowing for certain that this was where I had met him. He replied, “no”. And so I said, “I think I remember meeting you at the Wedding Show” and Matt, also remembering this was indeed where I had met him, agreed.  He further explained that he and his wife had been married for two years. Two years and that’s not recent? Well, then. Later on, I joked to Matt how two years was pretty recent in my books. And Matt said that it wasn’t. In fact, he explained to me that “recently married” would mean something like two weeks ago.  And, of course, he also mentioned that we were not recently married either. WHAT? REALLY? Hmph. Well, I feel like we are.

So there you have it. The confession of the “not-so-newlybride-anymore-according-to-everyone-even-her-husband”. Since when does the Honeymoon Phase have to end so abruptly? It just doesn’t seem fair.

Well here’s what I say to that. As long as I have this “yay” feeling, I am right smack-dab in the middle of the Honeymoon Phase. And yes, I DID just get married and it WAS recent. I am still seeing fireworks, smelling rose petals and walking on cloud nine.  And most importantly of all, it doesn’t matter if it is yesterday’s news because it is MY news and it is still the Headline.

The communiqués of a newlybride: So, how's married life?

The communiqués of a newlybride: So, how's married life?: "Wow…married life is BUSY! Or, maybe life is busy in general. I can’t believe I started a blog on being a newlybride, put up two posts two we..."

So, how's married life?

Wow…married life is BUSY! Or, maybe life is busy in general. I can’t believe I started a blog on being a newlybride, put up two posts two weeks in a row and then didn’t put up another one… I was thinking about it the other day and thought to myself… you need to put up a post…. Not for everyone else but for yourself…. You see, I have just decided that blogging is a form of therapy for people (like me) who like to talk a lot.…

Well, we have been married for FIVE MONTHS now… Can you believe it??  So, I have to think hard about what I want to write.

 I guess I would like to comment on the number one question I get asked as a newly married woman….. “How is married life?” which seems to be the opening line in most conversations I have with people that I don’t see very often.

 I am just wondering what everyone predicts I am going to say. Hmmmm…. Perhaps that I morphed into this amazing, superwoman who, at the point of her marriage, developed superpowers in the realms of cooking, cleaning, decorating and, oh yes, in that area too….  Nope that did not happen (Sorry, men). Or maybe married life has turned my newlyhusband into a super-romantic, sensitive man who understands a woman’s need to go shopping… Nope, that did not happen either (Sorry, ladies.) Or, maybe, the cynics would like us to confess our deepest problems and comment that married life sucks. And NO WAY, Nuh-uh… This is DEFINITELY not true.

The truth is we are just plain old Matt and Nat. We are the same. After all, we fell in love with each other before we got married. I have not cut my hair short and I don’t wear  Mom Jeans.  And so to answer the question…..Married life for Matt and Nat is amazing because I get to wake up every morning with the love of my life, work hard during the day to build our life together,come home to eat dinner  with our little family of two in the evenings and look forward to growing old together.

So there you have it the answer to the #1 question to ask a newlybride… “Married life is AMAZING!” Now for  that #2 question for a newlybride… the answer is NOOOOO, there are NO babies on the way.

Ring-Shopaholics

When I was young, I used to look through the Sears Wishbook, flip to the Jewellery Section and pick out my favorite diamond rings. And as my newlyhusband and I started dating and I realized that one day we would be married, I started to look to take more notice to Jewellery store flyers and even peak in their windows at the mall.


When it was probably 4 years into our relationship, I found that the topic of rings would come up more and more often with my girlfriends…. We would talk about the cut we wanted (princess for me of course)… gold, white gold or platinum….solitaire diamond or the past-present-future style… baguettes on the side…. And some girls even mentioned that they had gone ring shopping with their boyfriends… Hmph. Ring shopping? People do that? I thought it was supposed to be a surprise! I mean, it’s not like we are buying a ring together! Isn’t it supposed to be gift to me? This perplexed me. I was kind of panicky in a way. I had never gone ring shopping. What did this mean? Did it mean that they were closer to becoming engaged than I was? Whatever it meant, I did not like it! I kep picturing the Sweet Home Alabama Scene where Reese Witherspoon got to pick a ring at Tiffany’s…but that was different, wasn’t it? He was proposing AT Tiffany’s (a much more desirable experience than ring-shopping I would think?).


So, the next time Matt and I were shopping at the mall, as we were passing by a Jewellery store, I asked if we could look inside or even simply window-shop? Of course, we did not. Matt hates shopping so he wanted to get out of the mall asap. I wasn’t sure how I felt about this. I was at that “want-to-engaged-so-badly-but-trying-not-to-be-pushy” point in our relationship so we kept shopping. I think once he said (while we were at home) that we could go one day…but we didn’t. And we never did. And that was that.


There are a couple things that I think about ring-shopping. Although I did try to go myself, we never did. Matt bought a beautiful ring on his own and it could not have been more perfect. I am sure that I would have picked out the same ring had we gone ring-shopping together. When we became engaged, he was so excited when he recounted the details of his solo ring-shopping experience. He did not go to the mall nor did he need my help. He told me about the moment he realized he was going to propose, going out to buy the ring, ordering it, picking out the cut, learning about diamonds, sneaking around so I wouldn’t find out… I loved hearing his story. So, I am glad we did not go ring-shopping.


What I did notice was, if a girl goes ring-shopping with her man, she is sure to bring it up to everyone and may even tell some people that they are planning to be engaged. Well, that is just silly. You planned to be married and when you have made this decision, you are engaged… engaged to be married. You cannot PLAN to be engaged…that is NOT how it works. What would you call this when you have made the decision to become engaged?....an engagement to be engaged? There are a couple things that might be happening here… Number 1) The boy is keeping the girl satisfied. The girl is so pushy and the boy is bringing her ring-shopping instead of buying a ring. The ring-shopping makes the girl happy, she can tell her friends about it, maybe even join the weddingchannel.com and sign up with a fake wedding date so she can plan her wedding, pick her colours and decide who her bridesmaids are going to be (changing her mind 20 times before she is actually engaged). And then the happiness wears off and the girl is being pushy about being engaged again so the boy brings her ring shopping again. Repeat Cycle. Or Number 2) The boy genuinely wants to be married soon and pick out the right ring. He has no idea what ring to buy, is determining a budget and wants to get a feel for what is out there. But, instead of a buddy, he brings the girl.


I am no expert by any means but when a man is ready to be married, he will ask you to marry him. He is smart, he has heard the “not-so-subtle” hints that you have dropped about the kind of ring you like and your ring size (because let’s face it ladies, when you are ready, you will drop hints). So, let there be an element of surprise when you are engaged, when he opens the tiny box, so you can gasp and cry and try on that ring. Let there be the moment when you can say “I had no idea”.

From A to Z... From B to M....Since when was alphabetical order so important?

After a year and a half of being engaged, you'd think I would be ready for ANYTHING. And I was. My photographer even pointed out to me that I was the most organized bride she has ever dealt with. HA! That was a great compliment, even better than the standard "You are the most beautiful bride ever"... I mean, don't take me wrong, I was looking pretty good and I must agree, my dress was the nicest dress that I had ever laid eyes on... but for me, this compliment of being organized was unique and, what I will coin as an "affecting" compliment. It affected me because it was something that I worked hard at not only in planning my wedding but in life in general. I guess it comes with being a teacher.... being organized and yearning for structure. Without organization, you have CHAOS. And no bride wants chaos on their wedding day. So thank you, Jacqui, for that compliment.

As a newlybride, however, it is more difficult to plan the outcome and be structured in your marriage. Well, number one, you have a newlyhusband in the mix, but this is easy. I have known him long enough to "control" enough of the spontaneity and avoid the chaos. And men are quite simple and easy to predict. Structuring the newlyhusband (I'm sorry Matt, I mean Structuring WITH the newlyhusband..Sometimes it is better for the newlyhusband to think they are the structurers and not the structurees)... CHECK! Okay... structuring the living situation... CHECK! We are so good, this was done a year ago when I moved in! We are doing good ladies....

So here I am feeling great... La-Di-Da... I am feeling gooooood and structured and there is NO chaos and, man, this whole marriage thing is soooo predictable and there are no changes and life is PEACHY... .But, WAIT! What? There was the SILLIEST little thing that just had to go ahead and THROW ME OFF my nice structured transition into my new life as a Mrs.

A Mrs. M that is.

It was the last day of our Honeymoon in St. Lucia. Sad, yes, I know. Our bags were packed and we're waiting in the lobby of the resort waiting for our shuttle to shuttle us off to the airport. Waiting for an hour or so, you just want to get this dreary day of travelling rolling already! YES! The shuttle is here! We jump up and are first in line! Haha suckers! And then this resort lady pulls out a clipboard to check off our names.... I am about to give out our name when she starts calling out names. Okay, that is fine... but wait a minute, she is starting with the As... That's okay, I am a B.... or NOT ANYMORE! It dawns on me... I am NOT at the top of the alphabetical list anymore! WHAT! This can't be happening... As all the As and Bs get on the first shuttle, we have to wait. WAIT! Can you believe it? Another shuttle is here and everyone up to F gets on... This is crazy. Why do I feel so jipped? I am no longer a B. I am an M. This is a BIG CHANGE for me. I will have to get used to being called later in the alphabetical order. There was just something so satisfying about being a B... like I was more important or something... I got my diploma before the Ms and it is always easy to look up my name on a seating chart because it was right at the top. It's alright, I can get used to this. But I will have to prepare the kids one day. I hope they are not jealous of their B friends? Of course they won't be, this is just so silly. But just in case, maybe we should name them Aaron or Alison to put their first name at the top.

This was such a small detail that I overlooked and did not prepare myself for but I do not like to overlook anything. It was not even a big deal at all. I think I might have just looked over at my hubby and said, "Oh man. I am not a B anymore. We have to wait" and that was that. I guess the messsage that I took from this little epiphany of mine was that there will be so many little changes that marriage will bring that I did not even think about. I may like structure, but I do like surprises and challenges once in a while and try to take them in a positive way. As a newlybride, I am ready and excited for what marriage will throw at me. What will it be next?

You know, we eventually got on the third shuttle. (Good thing I'm not a Z!)